F**! Tha (Beat-matching) Police

I love my beats. Correction: I LOVE my beats.

That said, one of the things that REALLY gets my back up is when some nerd spouts on that only real DJ’s scratch/beat mix/harmonic mix.

These same self-important plonkers crowd by the decks, offering nothing but snide remarks & snobbery at someone’s hard work.

Don’t get me wrong – good DJs will of course, have a knowledge and/or mastery of some, if not all of the technical aspects of Djing today (or they bloody well should have), but I’d rather someone just play tunes than perform second rate tricks badly.

I appreciate that some can only deal with someone who mixes on the 3rd beat on the hi-hat triplet, but does it make them a good DJ?

At heart, a DJ entertains. He plays TO an audience. He plays FOR an audience. Showing off or self indulgence DOES have its place  in a set , but NOT at the (total) expense of the crowd.

Don’t get me wrong, there probably are precious few DJs who HAVEN’T dropped the record/scratch/loop/mix trick purely because they like it or are good at it? I fully acknowledge I’m part of that group & also have cleared a floor because of my excesses.

I know this is a subject I’ve ranted about before, but it seems to be one of those evergreen moans.

On Mixcloud, there are many souls who aren’t DJs & don’t mix, some are DJs & choose not to, yet continue to upload incredibly rich & diverse sets.In addition to the russet-haired selector that is Miss Phi, I think a couple more  are worthy of a mention


DJ Kaboodle:

Not so much a DJ as a sonic fell-walker, Kaboodle has put together a wide variety of sets, many loosely connected by an over-arching theme or has collaborated with other artists from different mediums.

What is important is this: on his profile he makes it explicit on his website that he does not mix:

“ I love electronic dance music, but I am not a ‘house’ DJ or a ‘drum n bass’ DJ. So, I don’t provide sets of perfectly beat-matched music sticking to a few styles of dance music; other DJs are far better at that than I am, and I am not going to attempt to encroach on their territory. I can beat-match, but that is not where my talents lie. ”.

Yet this hasn’t stopped him from producing some stunning pieces:

Drinking the Blues by Dj Kaboodle on Mixcloud


Is a lady from South America (but I think she’s actually Eastern European?). She puts together sets that I can only describe as the result of someone who:

  • Has a subversive sense of humour
  • Eats too much cheese before bedtime

For reasons best known to her, she removed the vast majority of her gloriously mental material, possibly as a result of lack of confidence, boredom or she initially bought intro this whole Djs-MUST-beatmatch nonsense. Only she knows for certain.

Anyway, she’s back with a new set & My Word, she’s played a blinder with this one:

How it should have ended by F.A.T.S. on Mixcloud


The individual I describe a Mixcloud’s ‘Yoda-in-Residence’, is a prolific uploader, producing mixed as well as unmixed sets. Like Kaboodle, the selections are tied to an overall theme or mood, but like both Kaboodle & F.A.T.S. It’s clear great care has been taken over every set. ‘S4V’ has even removed sets considered not up to his exacting standards.

RUDE $K@NKiN’ by Idio7 $Av4n7 on Mixcloud

What is a DJ if they can’t scratch?

Still a bloody DJ if they move the crowd!

Now shut up, get a life or go home!!

7 Responses to “F**! Tha (Beat-matching) Police”

  1. creature with 6 billion faeces and 1 heart Says:

    jezus Alph,..i need 5 GB of space when i wanna reply all this above as complete as possible,…so i try short and compact,okay )
    personally i don’t care about BPM/flow/crowd/audience,.whatever,..i am not a product of the environment ,the environment can be a product of me !

    # but it’s good to discuss or have differenet opinions,.we don’t have to agree,there’s only 1 truth,..and 1 of us is talking bullshit,.hopefully that’s me,…

    # diehards are diehards,they die hard,..traditions and hypes are cool,but we gotta move forward,not backward,..
    we gotta give a little bit more then we take,.when we look at the future,what will we see ?

    D@RKNESS no escape,…when mixcloud (it’s members including myself) are a metaphore 4 life ; we R dooooomed (

    the reason why i write this ramble is because it has more to do w my mixes then BPM ,.DO YOU KNOWHAT I MEAN ?
    (monologue looking 4 dialogue)

  2. Alph Says:

    I know – it took me quite a while to write the original post, then several days to edit it down to something vaguely readable!
    Hey, opinions are good – anything that promotes discussion & positive outcomes has GOT to be worth it.
    I’m not having a dig at people who use beatmatch per se, but I do have an issue with those that think there is only one way to DJ be it BPMs, avoiding clashing key signatures, etc. I also get that many people (mostly guys) get good at what they do by having a near-obssession with certain aspects of DJing. but then to be snobbish about others without real cause is, I think, a bit slack.
    Maybe we’ll get to a perfect world. Or maybe not.

  3. creature with 6 billion faeces and 1 heart Says:

    too bad our lady from eastern europe (???!) loll deleted her mixes in a bipolar attack otherwise you could have added her ; BEATMATCH mix as an example and avoid all talking,.the truth is out there,..but do we WANNA believe ?

    don’t let me answer this myself you m$%## bleeppp $^$%# ss nonbelievers,…told you it would be best that i am the 1 who = talking bullshit ,….ofcourse i am scared/furious/driven/fire/numb/provoking/frustrated/sad/happy/cynical/sarcastic/hopefull/angry,..i hope people can hear all human emotions back in my mixes,..adrenaline/goosebumbs/philosophy remove over BPM,.BPM equals ; DEAD

  4. Alph Says:

    Yeah, I don’t qite know what the deal was with F.A.T.S. – her work was crazy & brilliant & I did want to put her ‘Beatmatch’ mix here as a great example of turning perceived notions completely upside down.
    I’ve always said if you love what you do, it will find an audience; there’s a fine line between passion, obsession & being a t$@t – unfortunately too many people mistake being a t$@t for being passionate.
    Guys like yourself show that by simply being who you are, there is more than one way to make a musical point.

  5. creature with 6 billion faeces and 1 heart Says:

    really hope more people join the topic,..or at least share their opinion w or without arguments,…i hope my philosophy gets crushed by a better philosophy,.it’s the only way to make progress and the truth = all that matters P
    hope you are okay yourselves as well / thanx )

  6. JB Says:

    Hi Alph,

    As twittered, though I’m ‘very technical’ I totally agree!

    Nice anekdote to add to the blog (that definitely wont fit in Twitter :P)

    I can remember just being on Mixcloud, which is now almost a year ago, and listening to a mix of our friend with many faces, iDiO7S4VAN7. I remember falling asleep with it and it kept haunting my during the night how good the thing was. I re-listened to it the next day and realized the songs were amazing, but technically the mix was having some difficulties which burst my bubble a bit. I even placed a (well meant) comment on that with the mix. In his response I found a different perspective on Mixcloud and its users; his intentions were never to be technically perfect, nor did he have the gear to do it, it was all about the musical story.

    After a year of listening I see there are many many more ways to tell your story. And each uses its own toolkit to telling their story.

    For me, as beging from the ‘house-generation’, a technologist and having composed music, technicality is and will remain a big part of my toolkit, but I did add some things I stole out of others toolkits as well 😛

  7. Alph Says:

    I agree JB: my intention was never to isolate those who have a technical knowlegde of their art. AS I said, the problem for me tends to come from those who seem to think there is only one way to do things & too deviate from it somehow makes one a lesser individual or artist.
    I’ve always felt (& this is my personal view) it doesn’t matter how you acheive the result, as long as there’s a degree of openess, integrity, or at least a sense of personal accountability for your work, regardless of whether you’re a technician or a ‘seat-of-the-pants’ person.
    Mixcloud,at least potentially, gives anyone the opportunity to share their material & passion/stories with others, & those I mentioned on the post are just a few of those whom I feel show what I mean.
    Many people, I’ve found to be a very helpful,diverse & interesting group. Of course, there will always be those who have the opinion I set out to deconstruct, but I tend to leave them to their world…